Saturday, 5 February 2011

The (M)antler

Did anyone ever watch Rocket Robinhood as a young thing? I did. It was usually because I was utterly bored and there wasn't anything else on TV. I actually really hated the show and I never EVER wanted anyone at school to find out because they would make fun of me. Looking back now I bet they were all closet watchers too, secretly hating themselves for tuning into such a bad cartoon.

Okay okay okay okay okay, back on track. There is only one thing I remember about Rocket Robinhood. It took place during the opening sequence when the theme song was going and all the characters were being introduced. For Friar Tuck's introduction he was sitting at this huge table that was covered in food and he had a plate of chicken drumsticks in front of him. All I remember is this big beefy cartoon hand grabbing a drumstick and pulling it up towards his mouth, he then took one huge bite and threw the drumstick over his shoulder. And this just went on and on. Drumstick. Mouth. Toss. Drumstick. Mouth. Toss. Drumstick. Mouth. Toss. I remember thinking to myself that was how a Real Man ate. A Real Man has a 3 step approach to food: Drumstick. Mouth. Toss. I remember trying to eat pork chops like a Real Man when I was 7 or 8 and I just couldn't swing it. I needed to chew and swallow. I also couldn't just throw semi-eaten food over my shoulder. My mother would've hurt me for being so wasteful.
Now... I think what I am trying to say here is that I have got a new Antler that is so big and manly that I call it the (M)antler. The Humane Antler is smaller and much more delicate. The Humane Antler also chews it's food and would never ever toss away anything edible. The (M)antler on the other hand is big and strong and you know what it's table manners are like...Drumstick, Mouth, Toss.

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