Sunday, 22 November 2009

The Sky is Falling

I don't want to sound like a complete dinkus but how did I forget that Chicken Licken gets eaten by foxes? And also how did I forget that 6 of his friends got eaten too? Are children's stories still jerky like this? I don't know why it's upset me so much but I don't think it's fair to have a hero taken out like that, plus I don't think that the fox and his family could eat a chick, a hen, a rooster, 2 ducks, a goose and a turkey at one sitting it's unrealistic and a bit indulgent. Piss. I'm really irked by all this. I wish I never found this book and read it today.
I think this is what would really happen if this was real life and not some stupid jerk story. The turkey and and goose would have fought back and scared the foxes. The ducks would have flown away immediately, in fact they wouldn't have been able to walk all that way to the foxes den because ducks aren't good at long distance over land. The rooster would have done some serious damage trying to protect his beloved Henny Penny but it would be in vain because she died trying to protect Chicken Licken. And Chicken Licken would have got eaten too but not before he escaped and managed to alert the King that the sky was falling. On his way back from alerting the King our noble Chicken is running to help save his friends and he gets ambushed by one of the mean fox cubs (what a flipping hero). And who even is this King? I'll tell you. In my revised version the King is Isaac Newton. After the funeral Isaac sits under the tree where Chicken Licken first felt the sky fall (to reflect) and he feels it fall again but then he realises it's an apple falling to the ground and thus he discovers gravity. So I mean it's quite obvious that Chicken Licken led Newton to discover gravity. What a stand-up chap. THE END

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